What we Practice, we Become.
Learning how to quiet the mind and open the heart can heal you in profound and unexpected ways. It requires consistency and attention to really shift our mental and emotional blocks. One of the statements I repeat often with my clients to remind them of the importance of mindfulness is “What you practice, you become.” If we practice impatience, anger, fear, frustration, we become impatient, angry, fearful, and frustrated. On the other hand, if we practice patience, kindness, compassion, awareness, joy, and love – we become patient, kind, compassionate, aware, joyful and loving. It is a choice, a decision, and a consistent practice.
There are a few basic principles for learning how to release the contractions and stuck places we encounter in mindfulness. One of the most helpful of these principles is called Expanding the Field of Attention.
A repeated difficulty will be felt in one of the four basic areas of mindfulness. It will come either in the realm of the body (physical tension or pain), in the realm of feelings, in the realm of mind (thoughts and images), or in the realm of our basic attitudes (grasping, fear, aversion, etc.). Expanding the field of attention requires that we become aware of another dimension of the stuck place, of our insistent visitor or story. Release will only take place when we can shift from that which is obvious to one of the other levels of awareness. The simplest way to begin the process is to become a witness to your inner voice. To see the constant flow of thoughts as a visitor you are observing. In this way, you can begin to slow them down.
The most common insistent visitors are the repetitive thought patterns we can call the Top Ten Tunes. Normally when thoughts arise, we can simply acknowledge them and name them softly “thinking, thinking,” and in the light of loving awareness they will vanish like a cloud.
Repetitive visitors, whether they appear as words, images, or stories, will persist and return no matter how often they are noticed. They play like old records, repeating a theme over and over. Suppose we encounter a painful repeated story about our past intimate relationship. Such a story can play many times. As it does, we must expand our field of attention: How does this thought feel in our body? Oh, there is a tightness in the diaphragm and the chest. We can name this, “tightness, tightness,” and stay kind and carefully attentive for some time. As we do, it may open to other sensations, and many new images and feelings will be released. In this way, we can first begin to release the physical contractions and bodily fear that we have held. Then we can expand the attention further to new feelings. What other feelings arise along with this thought pattern and this tightness? Initially, they may be hidden or unconscious, but if we sense carefully, the feelings will begin to show themselves. The tightness in the chest will become anger, then sadness, and the sadness may become grief. As we finally begin to grieve, the pattern will release. We must hold space for these emotions to fully metabolize through and create a safe space to mindfully release the hold they have over us.
At first, the practice of learning to really see yourself can be challenging and overwhelming. Our critical voice will get loud inside the head. Our feelings of unworthiness or our controlling behaviors will kick in very loud. This is why for many of us we seek a mentor or teacher who can guide us through the first stages of release and awareness. It is the presence of a teacher that can hold space for the fluctuations of the mind and the resistance that will inevitably occur.
An individual must be not only ready but willing to create the shift from anxiety, stress, scarcity, or fear into the realm of awareness, compassion, ease, peace, joy, and abundance. The choice lies within each human heart. The parable of the two wolves offers a wonderful metaphor for how this decision plays out. There are two wolves in every human soul. The wolf of light – joy, kindness, peace, love. And the wolf of dark – fear, jealousy, greed, anger, unworthy. We must decide each moment of every day, which wolf will we feed?
We choose our path. We create our reality. We have all the tools we need. What we practice, we become. What will YOU practice, Beloved?